Surviving a Broken Heart and the Dreaded Bleh’s of Life! ~ “FIRST” by Lauren Daigle (Monday Music)

Click to listen to "First" by Lauren Daigle and read "Surviving a Broken Heart and the Dreaded Bleh's of Life!"  ~ Matthew 6:33

I’ve held onto too much in my life, unable to let go.

I’ve never been so happy as when I learned to let go of my rights, shame, unforgiveness, and that obnoxious shirt that hasn’t been in style since 1987.

But letting go of my children? Bleh!

That one feels like it just might kill me. 

My baby, Carolyn, is headed to college. 

Two years ago, I felt this day coming. See my post: I Know, But . . . How Do I Survive My Children Leaving?

In this post I share how to avoid becoming like Norman Bate’s mother. I’m proud to report — and my children are relieved — that I’ve successfully not morphed into her!

But the empty nest is descending up on us faster than the humidity in South Carolina. 

Fortunately I’m not clinging to my children desperately like Norman Bates’ crazed mother, but my heart is still broken over missing them. 

How do we live joyfully despite a broken heart and the bleh’s of life?

Lauren Daigle hits the mark in her song “First.”

Before I cry over my children, I will rejoice over my God.

Before I dwell on my pain, I will dwell on His presence.

Before I do anything, I will seek God FIRST.

“But seek FIRST His kingdom and His righteousness,
and all these things will be added to you.”

~ Matthew 6:33

I’m not saying we should treat God as if He were our genie in a bottle or manipulate Him into giving us what we want.

I gave you my heart, God, now give me three free houses all next to Larry’s and mine for our three children — and make Lexington, SC just like Hawaii.

Seeking God isn’t about getting what we want, except that it is.

When we seek God first — truly seek Him with our whole heart first and foremost — we actually do end up getting everything we desire because everything in our being actually desires Him.

I’m not saying that I don’t truly desire my kids — they’re keepers! 

I’m saying that even more than our kids, or anything we could ever desire, God is our highest desire.

Whom have I in heaven but You?
And besides You, I desire nothing on earth.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
~ Psalm 73:25-26

Think about it. Even individuals who reach the pinnacle of success in their field only enjoy a measure of contentment for a period of time. They don’t stay content.

People who’ve lost hope and appear to desire nothing actually feel deep desire — a deep desire to stop feeling desire.

Desire never disappears until it reaches its truest and deepest longing — God.

I don’t want to stop desiring my children, but I do want that desire to stop hurting so much.

I want to be able to give them over to God and send them off into the world with a genuine heart full of joy, not a quivering upper lip.

When God is my first heartbeat, my first breath and my first thought — my all — then all that I’m experiencing — all my sorrows or sadness — are covered by Him and His radiant glory, and His joy is mine.

“You will make known to me the path of life;
In Your presence is fullness of joy;
In Your right hand there are pleasures forever.”
~ Psalm 16:11, NASB

Living in the midst of our highest desire — God’s presence — will turn our tears into laughter. 

Some pain shouldn’t be erased. It’s good to miss our children, so long as we don’t turn into a crazed Mrs. Bates.

Some broken hearts can’t be completely mended on this side of heaven, but fullness of joy relieves a lot of pain. It has the power to wash away our bleh’s.

I’m thrilled for my children and their exciting futures, but as long as they’re far away, I’m still going to miss my babies.

So if you’re reading this, kids, call me!

Yep, Lauren Daigle’s song “First” is my go-to song this month as I pack up my baby and send her to college.

I will seek God first as our last child leaves. 

What about you?

What is tugging at your heart today?

Seek God first and let Him fill your heart with His glorious presence and fullness of joy.

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  1. Dee Dee Parker says:

    I will be praying for you precious mothers as you send your babies off to college….I remember. What a sweet comfort to know God has them in the palm of His hand.

    • Thanks Dee Dee! You’re such a faithful friend and prayer warrior. And yes, it’s a wonderful comfort to know that they may be out of my reach, but they’re never outside of God’s reach and loving care.

  2. Praying for you with such empathy, Jean. We are both at the season in life where our babies are flying the nest.

    • Yes, Beckie! There’s much about this season that is fun, and much about it that is Bleh! May we radiate Christ through it all. I’m praying for you too!

      Love ya, friend!

  3. Stacie Benton says:

    Praise God for you and words on letting go of our children! It was God that I received this after all the tears and sleepless nights. I’ve known nothing but being a mom, a gift God wonderfully gave me 3 times, choosing me for the magnificent creations that call me mama! My eldest son and my only daughter are getting married, my baby son 17 faces challenges daily with disabilities from undeveloped parts of his brain. He’s labeled special needs, and he indeed is special, my reminder daily of God’s unbelievable love! We never stop being mothers, they begin the part of their lives that doesn’t require our help as much ! I’ve battled with this especially with my daughter, now feeling so ashamed that I didn’t lean more toward the word. I know God has a remarkable plan for my baby son, he don’t give hearts like he has to just anyone, however I ask that all moms please pray that I will never allow myself to depend on him to fill the emptiness of his siblings moving forward. I would never want to place that responsibility or make him feel that. He has his own place and that for him is all he needs to carry. He is extremely attached to me and I have to be very careful not to bring anxiety to him. Your words have lifted me up with strength, understanding, placing my eyes back in the word and on my Lord Jesus Christ! I will pray daily for all mothers! Its the greatest thing we will ever do. I’m glad to see that I’m not only one who missed the class on letting them go! LoL God Bless you Jean, and all Moms! With much love!

    • Stacie! You’re bringing tears to my eyes!!

      Yes, it’s so hard to let go of our children, but what a blessing that you’re leaning into the Word and the Lord for your strength. He never fails, as you clearly know. 🙂

      I’ll pray for your relationship with your youngest son, that God will do something extraordinarily special and without pressure placed on him to fill the void for his siblings who’ve graduated into the adult world.

      The best gift we can ever give our children is to show them through our own lives that they have a God who can be trusted. I pray for all of us moms (and dads) that our lives reveal hearts that never feel the need to despair or fret even in the hard times, but only to rest in and enjoy God.

      I remember reading about missionary Hudson Taylor when he and his family were walking through China and had no food and hadn’t eaten in quite a while. They had no prospect of getting any food either as they walked. As they walked he began to say the blessing. His children and the others with them teased him, but he responded something like this: “God knows we need food so He’ll bring it. You will have to stop and say a blessing, but I have already said mine and will get to eat right away.” Sure enough, over the next hill came a man in a wagon with rice who gladly fed all of them.

      What a gift Hudson gave to his children of his having peacefully rested in a God who always provides and is never late. That was more valuable than the bowl of rice.

      Thank you so much for sharing your heart with me! I’m praying for you and your sweet family!