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Please Stop Telling My Daughter She Is Enough by Jean Wilund
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This post first appeared on Inspire A Fire.

Mindless Instagram scrolling turned up an image of flowers framing a bold proclamation:

Daughter, You Are Enough!

I paused over the image, but not because I wanted to heart, bookmark, or repost it. But because I understood the universal desire to be enough.  

Enough for family and work. Enough for ourselves and the world. Enough for God.

Little did I know God was about to make this message the theme of my week.

Warning: People are About to Get Hurt

They say famous people die in 3’s. Apparently, I hurt people and discourage myself in 3’s.

Discouragement #1

While having a conversation with friends, I offered helpful input. (Insert smiling emoji here.)

Except it turns out, like dandelions rooted in a well-manicured lawn, my comments were not welcomed yellow buttons of beauty. They were a burst of weed seeds, blowing through tender hearts.

Once I saw the pain I’d caused, my own heart broke. And my pity party commenced:

Daughter, you are NOT enough.

The next day, with my glaring imperfections still stinging my heart, my phone rang.

Discouragement #2

When I answered it, I discovered I’d been blowing discouragement onto yet another friend.

How do I even have friends?

As she shared her heart and the pain I’d poured into it, my failings shouted even louder:

Daughter, you are seriously NOT enough.

By the time we hung up, we were good, but I was down-hearted. And then my phone pinged.

Discouragement #3

Multiple calendar alerts pinged my phone to remind me of an important meeting—a meeting that had started 17 minutes ago.

Discouragement flirted with despair as I rushed to join the group.

Everyone inspired and encouraged everyone else. But I sat with my mouth sealed shut. If I opened it, my destructive force would spew all over them.

Daughter, you are most seriously NOT enough.

After the meeting, I collapsed into my chair, gripped by hopelessness.

I reached for my Bible.

Hope for the Hopeless

I flipped past Genesis and the story of Adam and Eve. After having brought sin into the world and having plunged mankind into spiritual darkness, they certainly knew hopelessness. (Genesis 3:1-24)

I thumbed past 2 Samuel and King David, a “man after God’s own heart.” He blew it royally with Bathsheba. (2 Samuel 11:1-26) Adultery. Murder. And then there was that whole census and plague catastrophe. (2 Samuel 24)

Over in the New Testament, I paused to consider the great disciple Peter on which Jesus said He would build His church. He denied Jesus three times. (Luke 22:54-62)

A quick perusal of the Bible reveals that even heroes of the faith are hopelessly hopeless. Our value is unquestioned because we are all created in the image of God, but apart from Christ, we can do nothing.

“I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing.”

John 15:5

Christ is Enough!

Because of our relentless sin-nature, our best efforts are like filthy rags (Isaiah 64:6) going out into a world of people whose best efforts are no better.

Even when I believe my words were lovely bouquets of blessings, I sometimes find out they were actually poison ivy.

Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! 

Romans 7:24-25

Thanks be to God, indeed. We can rest in this great Truth:

Daughter, you are not enough.

But Christ is!

He never fails, and He reigns supreme over all.

If only we could know the consequences of our every action from the start, maybe we’d have the wisdom and determination to do better. But I doubt it.

We can’t see the end from the beginning (Isaiah 46:10), but Christ sees it all, and He reigns supreme over all (Psalm 93:1).

Whenever your best efforts cause unintended wreckage, may this Truth give you peace.

And may it give you the courage to repent and seek forgiveness when your temper or pride leads to even intended destruction.

We will never be enough, but Jesus is.

And this is why I’m asking well-meaning Christians to please stop telling my daughter she is enough. 

Our Daughters Need to Know They’re Not Enough

If we tell our daughters they’re enough, we lay a crushing load on them they can’t carry. And worse, it leads them to trust in themselves rather than in the only One who is enough.  

I want my daughters to know they’re not enough so they’ll run to Jesus and surrender to Him, the One who is everything they need. The One who will never fail them.

No matter how many times we disappoint others (or ourselves), Jesus intends for all of it to serve His good purposes. We can trust Him with it.

Who is there who speaks and it happens, unless the Lord has ordained it?

Lamentations 3:37 (HCSB)

May we all trust and believe that no matter what we’ve done or said, and no matter what has been done or said to us, these Truths never change:

The Lord sees the end from the beginning.

He reigns supreme over all.

He is enough!

If you have not yet trusted in Jesus by repenting of your sins and surrendering to Jesus (Romans 10:9-10), do it today because no one can come to the Father except through Him (John 14:6). He alone is enough. And He is yours if you’ll trust in Him.

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