31 Keys to Living 31 Years Happily Married to the Same Person (No One Does I Do Like We Do)

31 Keys to Living 31 Years Happily Married to the Same Person (& Harry Connick Jr.'s Song No One Does I Do Like We Do) via www.JeanWilund.com

Happy 31st Anniversary, Larry!

I echo Harry Conick, Jr.’s song: No one does I do like we do.

A lot of them mean it when they say it, but they don’t do I do like we do or they’d still be doing I do, too.

In honor of our 31 years together, here are 31 keys to how we’ve done I do so well and kept ourselves from saying, Never mind, I don’t anymore.

31 Keys to Living 31 Years Happily Married to the Same Person

  1. We’ve laughed. A lot. And I really do mean a lot!l-j-30th-anniversary
  2. We’ve kept God the center of all our decisions – and forgiven each other when we didn’t.
  3. We married each other for exactly who we were on the day we said I Do with no hidden agenda to fix the other after we married.
  4. We’ve prayed for each other and our marriage. A lot. And complained about each other only to God.
  5. We’ve looked only to God to change the other – but, more importantly, to first change us.
  6. We’ve committed to snapping the snapping at each other because it only shows disrespect, never love or kindness.
  7. We’ve kept a thick skin, slathered in patience and a great sense of humor, always ready to laugh at ourselves.
  8. We’ve given the other freedom to laugh, not only with us but at us without getting offended. In fact, we’ve joined in the laughter.
  9. baby-bobbyWe’ve held each other and cried. And even when my tears seemed silly, he held me and loved me instead of belittling me.
  10. We’ve said I’m sorry – even when we didn’t think we did anything wrong.
  11. We’ve given grace when we should’ve said sorry but didn’t.
  12. We’ve laughed some more, even when we wanted to cry. Sometimes especially when we wanted to cry.
  13. He’s accepted me with my quirks (chewing noises make me crazy) and phobias (noCarolyn skydiving. Take that leap of faith and touch the sky! skydiving or deepwater diving for me). I accepted him with his quirks (no lights or noise allowed after he’s gone to bed) and his maddeningly methodical ways (researching something for 10 years — or maybe it was really just 10 days — before making a decision. Yeah, I know it’s saved us a fortune. Thanks!)
  14. I’ve encouraged him when he’s taken our children to do crazy things without making him feel like a bad father. (It’s increased my prayer life, and that’s good, right?)
  15. Good friends are the best!We’ve drunk lots of coffee.
  16. We’ve lived life in community, surrounding ourselves with friends and family to love, support, encourage, and challenge us.
  17. He’s helped me in my garden when he could’ve been hunting.
  18. We’ve said thank you a lot — even after helping me with the laundry and thus shrinking my favorite shirt. And especially for not getting mad when I’ve gone out and replaced that one shirt with five others.
  19. He’s done the stuff I hate just because I hate it, like going to the grocery store and filling up my gas tank.
  20. He hasn’t counted the number of books I’ve bought or writers conferences I’ve attended. He’s even gone to some conferences with me just to meet my writing friends and encourage me. (But I also haven’t blown our budget to do it.)Camping with Friends
  21. I’ve encouraged and cheered him on when he’s gone on yet another hunting trip because I know he loves it. And he hasn’t let his hunting monopolize his time. He keeps hunting after me — except on the first and last day of the season. I can deal with that.
  22. He doesn’t make me feel bad for not wanting to go hunting. (Sit still and quiet in a deer stand? No thanks!)
  23. He’s handled everything with the house and kids when life has overwhelmed me. Like those years I drove back and forth between my img_5115parents in Georgia and home to be with them at the end of their lives.
  24. We’ve loved each other’s families as our own.
  25. We’ve trusted each other, believing the best, and forgiven each other when we’ve acted the fool.
  26. We’ve encouraged and supported each other to reach for our dreams.
  27. We’ve given each other the freedom to make mistakes without fear of criticism or wagging of the head.larry-and-jean-the-keys
  28. We’ve believed the best in each other even when we’ve been our worst.
  29. We’ve showered our home in grace, grace, grace. (And boy, have I needed it.)
  30. Even when we didn’t feel love, we’ve chosen to show love, because love never fails.
  31. And last but not least, he’s made sure I never leave home without my chargers. (The kids are laughing at this one.)

Thanks, Larry, for loving me every single day of our 31 years of marriage — especially on those two days when I was less than lovable!

No One Does I Do Like We

Harry Connick, Jr. says he wrote the song “No One Does I Do Like We Do” for his wife. But I think he wrote it for Larry and me.

It’s never too late to have an amazing marriage. It’s a choice and commitment we all can make.

Our son and his beautiful bride have made that choice.

Have you?


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If you liked this post, you’ll like this one, too:

An Open Letter To My Children on Larry’s & my 30th Anniversary ~ Call It Grace (by Unspoken)

The Grace of Christ - It's nothing less than scandalous! Click to view music video "Call it Grace" by Unspoken.

Silent Night Ye Merry Gentlemen – Let the Christmas Season Begin

Two Great Christmas Songs by Mannheim Steamroller: Silent Night & God Rest Ye, Merry Gentlemen via www.JeanWilund.comIt’s beginning to look and sound like Christmas. 

Friday we put up our Christmas tree, and last night Larry and I went to hear Mannheim Steamroller’s Christmas tour.


By the way, Tom Sharpe, their drummer, stole the show. Brilliant musician and showman. He’s worth a Google.

It’s hard to pick a favorite song of theirs to share with you, so I didn’t.

I’m kicking off the season big by picking two songs. Crazy, right?

Enjoy Mannheim Steamrollers arrangements of  Silent Night and God Rest Ye, Merry Gentlemen.

And be sure to scroll to the bottom of the post on-line to learn of a fascinating story about the carol Silent Night.

God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen

This 16th-century carol still thrills the heart, especially the way Mannheim Steamroller performs it. Definitely my favorite version.

God Red Ye Merry Gentlemen

God rest ye merry gentlemen
Let nothing you dismay
Remember Christ the Savior
Was born on Christmas day
To save us all from Satan’s power
When we had gone astray
Oh tidings of comfort and joy,
Comfort and joy!
Oh tidings of comfort and joy!
From God our Heavenly Father
A blessed angel came
And unto certain shepherds
Brought tidings of the same
How that in Bethlehem was born
The Son of God by name
Oh tidings of comfort and joy,
Comfort and joy!
Oh tidings of comfort and joy!

Silent Night

Composed in 1818 by Franz Gruber to the lyrics by Joseph Mohr, it was performed for the first time on Christmas Eve https://espano..lis-generico/Silent Night remains one of the most popular carols in history:

Silent Night

Silent night, holy night,
all is calm, all is bright
round yon virgin mother and child.
Holy infant, so tender and mild,
sleep in heavenly peace,
sleep in heavenly peace.

Silent night, holy night,
shepherds quake at the sight;
glories stream from heaven afar,
heavenly hosts sing Alleluia!
Christ the Savior is born,
Christ the Savior is born!

Silent night, holy night,
Son of God, love’s pure light;
radiant beams from thy holy face
with the dawn of redeeming grace,
Jesus, Lord, at thy birth,
Jesus, Lord, at thy birth.

Last year I shared Silent Night by Sinead O’Connor. It included an incredible story of the night the song stopped World War II for a day.

No matter how many times I read this story, it still fascinates me. Check it out:

Click to listen to Silent Night, The Song That Stopped the War for a Day via www.JeanWilund.com

Share the Christmas Spirit and share these great songs with your friends. Thanks!

#MannheimSteamroller & #Christmas: The perfect pair! Listen & enjoy #MondayMusic Click To Tweet

Magnify the Name of the Lord to Minimize Your Stress

Magnify the Name of the Lord to Minimize Your Stress and watch Music Video Magnify by Messenger via www.JeanWilund.comOh the Stress!

Every fall I find myself stressed out, and I’ve battled it for too embarrassingly long. I suffer from Competition Stress Anxiety.

I just made that term up, but it sounds about right.

If you’re not into sports, this post is still for you because we all have something in life that stresses us out.

It might be of minor importance like mine, as in the I Just Moved to a New Place and Have to Make New Friends Stress Anxiety or the I Have Too Many Things to Do and No Matter What I Do the List Only Gets Longer Stress Anxiety.

Or it might be quite serious like My Medical Bills are Piling Up With No End in Sight Stress Anxiety or worse I Just Lost My Child And Don’t Think I’ll Ever Be Happy Again Stress Anxiety.

Insert whatever your stressor is into the blank:  ________ Stress Anxiety.

Trying to EnJOY But Can Only EnSTRESS?

Before and during the Clemson vs Louisville game, I felt my stress magnify to the point I nearly gave up football.

Before and during the Clemson vs Florida State game, my stress magnified to the point that even though we won, I did give up football.

For a day. Then reality hit.

My husband and I host football parties every game we’re not attending. We love sports, we love our friends, and we love to combine them.

I’m not going to tell my husband we have to give them up just because I magnify my stress. And I’m not going to hide in my room during the games and ignore our guests.

Besides, I want to be able to watch AND enjoy football.

See the word “joy” tucked in there? It’s not “enSTRESS.” It’s “enJOY.”

Lord, Help Me!

I need help only God can give because this is ridiculous! It’s just football, Jean!

So I prayed. A lot.

I prayed and asked God to help me remember that He is both loving and sovereign, and thus if Clemson loses, it’s ok.

God let Paul get imprisoned. It wasn’t fun, but it was purposeful.  

I prayed for God to remind me He has far greater plans for each of the players than just their win-loss record. It’s ok for them to lose because God will use it.

God let Joseph get sold into slavery by his brothers, but God allowed it because He had plans for Joseph to one day become second in command over Egypt. 

I prayed I wouldn’t lose sight of the fact that it’s just a game, not a real problem. Real problems involve cancer, unemployment, and life or death situations. Not football — unless you make your living playing football.

God led Israel to the Red Sea. He boxed them in with their enemy charging toward them in war chariots, ready to drag them back into slavery. That’s a real problem. That’s serious stress. 

I prayed. A lot.

And I’d have momentary success. Super-sonic fast fleeting success, but not lasting joy.

I’ve Magnified the Forest So Now I Can’t See The Trees

Yes, I know the phrase is “can’t see the forest for the trees,” but in my case, all I could see was the massive forest. I missed the beauty of each individual tree.

I could only see the whole season — we must win every game, especially the National Championship.

I couldn’t enjoy each beautiful tree — every hard-fought, well-earned win.

As I talked about my all-or-nothing mentality with God, I remembered a time years ago when I prayed and prayed for God to remove a negative mindset I couldn’t seem to change.

All day, every day I prayed and asked God to change my thinking to one that encouraged, rather than depressed, me.

I prayed and experienced similar fleeting success as my competition stress anxiety.

Then someone said:

You can’t stop thinking about one thing until you start thinking about something else

All my many prayers about my problem kept my problem on my mind. And that caused my stress to magnify and peace to minimize.

I now knew the solution:

Quit Praying So Much

As crazy as that sounds, I needed to STOP praying all day about my problem. It only increased my stress.

I needed to bring my stress to God once in the morning and then let it go for the rest of the day and then turn my prayers into praise.

It overcame my stress back then. It should overcome my Competition Stress Anxiety too.

No more praying, “God, I know it’s just football, and you’ll use a loss for their good and Your glory. . . Lord, help me to rejoice even if Clemson loses . . . Father, take away my anxious heart about whether we’ll win or not . . .

Instead, praise, “God, you are . . . ” and then let every amazing truth I know about God flood my heart and mind with no mention or even thought of football.

Praise Magnifies the Name of God and Minimizes Stress

Like the Israelites who marched around Jericho once a day and then returned to their camp, we need to march around our problems in prayer once a day, and then return to our day.

When stress is highest, praise needs to be higher.

We must stop worrying and praying about our problems incessantly.

Praise magnifies God’s name. It puts our minds in the right perspective.

The Proof is in the Praise

Magnify the Name of the Lord to Minimize Your Stress and watch Music Video Magnify by Messenger via www.JeanWilund.comI tried my Prayers into Praise strategy at the next game — The Pitt Game! Yes, the game Clemson LOST.

And guess what. It worked!

Each time my stress began to rise, I took a deep breath and began to praise God.

I didn’t praise Him for the Clemson Tigers. Or that He’ll use a loss for good.

I praised Him for being God.

I took my mind off of football and my stress and put it onto God.

I worshiped Him for being loving, powerful, sovereign, and ruler over all. I imagined what it will be like one day when we His people are in heaven worshipping Him in one voice. I let His powerful presence awe me.

As I praised Him in spirit and in truth just for being God, I magnified His name and felt my stress melt away.

It’s like the little minimize button on the computer that takes a big window and makes it small. The potential of losing — my source of stress — was still there but it was so small as to be almost invisible. Until something happened that clicked on the maximize button and my stress began to fill the screen of my mind. But then I praised — not prayed — again.

I praised God a lot during that game.

I was truly sad when we lost, but my stress level never rose near what it had been during the games we won, nor did it stay elevated long.

Try magnifying God’s name next time your stress level rises. Take your mind off your worries and focus on who God is, not what He can do for you.

Magnify by We Are Messengers

Listen to We Are Messengers sing Magnify, and let’s magnify God’s name together.

O magnify the LORD with me, And let us exalt His name together.
~Psalm 34:3

Your turn: What helps you maximize your peace and minimize your stress?

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God is Love (from The Never-Ending, Ever-Growing List of the Character Traits of God)

God is Love (From The Never-Ending, Ever-Growing List of the Character Traits of God) via www.JeanWilund.com

God is Love

God is love, but that doesn’t mean it’s all rainbows, butterflies, and cotton candy all the time.

Actually, now that I think about it, a rainbow comes after a rain, a butterfly is born out of a struggle, and cotton candy is sugar that’s been melted down and spun wildly.

So maybe God’s love is rainbows, butterflies, and cotton candy — worth every storm, struggle, or meltdown we experience.

What Does it Mean that God is Love?

Let’s take the simple route and replace the word Love with God (and it with He) in the Bible verses on love in I Corinthians 13:4-13:

God is patient and kind;

God does not envy or boast;

He is not arrogant or rude.

He does not insist on His own way;

He’s not irritable or resentful; 

He does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 

God bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 

God never ends . . . 

So now faith, hope, and God abide, these three;

but the greatest of these is God. 

~ I Corinthians 13:4-13

God’s love is perfect and complete, lacking nothing. He can’t love us any more or any less. 

And He won’t suddenly stop loving us since His love is based on His nature, not our behavior. God is love, so He loves. And everything He does is rooted in love.

All His actions are loving — even the ones that don’t look loving. 

Love Doesn’t Always Look Like Love at the Time

Mom and Dad swore they loved me.

Sure you do, Mom and Dad. That’s why you’re holding me down on a hospital table while the doctor performs a painful test on me.

Yes, actually, that is why.

I was six years old, and I. Did. Not. Feel. Loved. At. All. But the medical test confirmed the doctor’s suspicions. I needed surgery.

Without that wretched test, the doctor wouldn’t have had the information he needed to determine what was best for me.

But how do you get a terrified, crying six-year-old who’s in horrible pain to understand? Not happening.

I didn’t feel loved in that moment. But that didn’t change the fact. I was dearly loved.

God loves us even more, because, well, He is love. (I John 4:16)

Knowing God is Love Makes a Difference in Us Today

When we settle in our hearts once and for all that God is love and He love us specifically, it changes our view of everything that touches our lives.

When bad things happen, we won’t assume that God must hate us.

I heard the tragic news recently of a couple whose grown son was murdered. As awful as it is, what’s even worse is that the mother believes she must have done something wrong and that’s why “God took her son away from her.”

She blames herself for her son’s death. 

Fortunately, he had trusted in Christ so he’s with God now experiencing pure joy. But she’s down here locked in a prison of shame, pain, and guilt — and she doesn’t belong there.

This heartbroken, despairing mom believes in God, but not in His perfect love.

The Proof of God’s Love is at the Cross

We must know and believe that God loves us and that all He does is loving. 

God proved it over 2,000 years ago.

Stand at the foot of the cross and look at the nails through Christ’s hands and feet.

See the blood drip from the thick thorns which stabbed His head.

See the deep wound in His side where they pierced Him. 

And finally, look at the darkness of every sin, from the first to the last, heaped upon Christ as He gave up His Spirit and died to pay for each one.

No one forced God to sacrifice His Son. His love compelled Him.  

No one forced Christ to go to the cross. His love compelled Him, too.

At any point, Christ could have called down a legion of angels to wipe out the guards. He chose to submit to the deepest, darkest evil of man to make salvation available, even to the very ones who tortured and crucified Him.

God Chose the Cross and You

God chose the cross because He chose you.

Even if you don’t choose Him and His gift of salvation.

He chose you because He loves you.

Even if you don’t love Him.

Never forget it.

Never doubt it.


Settle it once and for all in your heart. God loves you.

Doubt something else if you must, but never doubt God’s love.

Accept this Truth.

And as hard as it may seem, accept everything that touches your life as coming directly into your life as coming from God’s hands of love. 

Are You Angry with God?

Some of you may be angry with God now. You don’t want to have anything to do with this “God of Love” who would allow the horrible tragedies that occur in the world and in your life.

I could’ve made such a declaration towards my parents when they held me down on the hospital table.

What if I could have chosen to walk away from them in that moment forever, declaring I didn’t want their brand of love?

I would’ve never had the surgery I needed. And I would’ve missed out on a lifetime of an incredible, loving relationship with my parents.

I’m glad they were willing to love me, even though it hurt so much that I remember it too well. 

We won’t always be able to see or understand how everything God does is loving. But that doesn’t change the facts. God’s love is rainbows, butterflies, and cotton candy. 

Believe and do not doubt. God is Love.

God’s Word on God’s Love

“Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God” (I John 4:7 ESV).

“Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love” (I John 4:8 ESV).

“This is real love–not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins” (I John 4:10 NLT).

“So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him” (I John 4:16 ESV).

God is Love (From The Never-Ending, Ever-Growing List of the Character Traits of God) via www.JeanWilund.com“Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love” (I John 4:18 NLT).

“We love, because He first loved us” (I John 4:19 NASB).

For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life” (John 3:16 NASB).

“For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:38-39 NASB).

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The Never-Ending, Ever-Growing List of the Character Traits of God via www.JeanWilund.comCheck back to find out what trait we’ll look at next in our Never-Ending, Ever-Growing List of the Character Traits of God.

Click the photo to see the full list as it stands now.

Your Turn: How will knowing that God is love make a difference in your life today? Leave a comment below. Thanks!

If you’d like to go deeper in your study of the character traits of God, check out these resources. Click on the photos for more information about these books by A. W. Tozer: 

(Note: These links are affiliate links through Amazon.com. I am a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon.com. In other words, if you purchase through any of these links, I receive a small bonus. You are, of course, free to purchase without going through these links.)

The Red Thread: When Life Unravels, You Don’t Have To – Christ Holds Us Together

Watch & Read: The Red Thread: When Life Unravels, We Don't Have to. Christ Holds Us Together. (www.JeanWilund.com) Colossians 1:17

Life Unravels

Life unravels. And when it does, so do we. 

Sometimes we get hit in the heart by the loss of a loved one or a broken relationship.

Other times fear smacks us straight between the eyes, like when the doctor uses the “C” word.

Still, other times life blind-sides us from behind. Or maybe a car does. A literal car. That was my story, and I tell it in the short video below.

I hope my story will encourage you — or at least make you laugh. And laughter is good medicine when life unravels.


Good evening, ladies. Y’all look so sharp. I’m used to looking out and seeing hair bows and dirty faces. I’m a preschool teacher, so if I wipe your cheek, I’m sorry. I hope you’ll forgive me.

Now in my class, I have one main rule. Before I tell them a Bible story, they have to find The Red Thread.

So why am I hiding a red thread?

The Red Thread: When Life Unravels, Christ Holds Us Together www.JeanWilund.comI got the idea years ago when I was studying the Old Testament. I started to notice that from the beginning of time, God had orchestrated the smallest details to the biggest blunders and even outright atrocities of man and nations to fit His divine purposes.

And through every single bit of it, He wove — like a thread — stunning reflections of His Son Jesus Christ.

If we see everything as wrapped in a red thread — our loved ones, our going a little crazy The Red Thread: When Life Unravels, Christ Holds Us Together www.JeanWilund.comworld, ourselves — wrapped in a red thread of Christ’s presence, and power, and sovereignty, that’s a game changer.

I wanted my preschool kids to learn that early. So I taught them.

One day, after they found the red thread, I made a mistake.

I said, “Would one of you please go get that thread and bring it to me?”

Now, if you’ve been in a group of preschoolers, you know what I just unleashed.

Preschool anarchy.

Hands are waving everywhere. “Mrs. Jean! Look at me! Me! Pick me!”

the-red-thread-ill-get-itLittle Michael and Joey? They’re gone, and they’re fighting it out. “I’ll get it! I’ll get it! I’ll get it!”

Little Suzy and Mary Beth? They’re laid out all over the floor wailing. “I wanted to get it! I wanted to get it!”

Y’all, my class had just unraveled over a six-inch piece of thread.

But seriously. Aren’t we just a little bit like that when our life unravels? Usually — hopefully — not over a six-inch piece of thread, although sometimes I must confess to that at times.

But usually, it’s the big things.

The Red Thread: When Life Unravels, Christ Holds Us Together www.JeanWilund.comLike when my mom called and said she had terminal cancer.  My hands went straight up to God.

God, do you see me? Do you see my mom?

And then when my dad was diagnosed with dementia the year my mom died, I was laid out on the floor, wailing.

I don’t want this! I didn’t want this for my dad!

The Red Thread: When Life Unravels, Christ Holds Us Together www.JeanWilund.comAnd then, one day, that one thing too many happened.

I’d been white-knuckle driving down I-20 in blinding rain for 2 hours, and I needed a break.

So I’m pulling off Exit 113, when I remember the restaurants are on Exit 114So I whip it back onto the highway just to face a sea of red brake lights.

Seriously, God? Cause I was just getting off, and You let me get back on?

And then BLAM!

A white cargo van plowed into the back of me and shattered my windshield.

And, Ladies, I pole vaulted past unraveled and went straight into crazy.

The Red Thread: When Life Unravels, Christ Holds Us Together www.JeanWilund.com“WHY? WHY, GOD? You knew this was gonna happen, and You could have stopped me. You could have made me take that exit, and YOU DIDN’T! YOU DIDN’T!”

And then God broke through my crazy into my heart, and He said, “Yes, Jean, I could have stopped you, but I didn’t. Do you trust me?”

“Ugh. I’m trying.”

“Look for The Red Thread.”

So I thought about Daniel. Man, his life unraveled. God let him be thrown into a lion’s den. But He trusted God, and Jesus was with him.

I thought about Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. Their lives unraveled. God let them be thrown into a fiery furnace. But they trusted Him, and Jesus was with them.

I’m just in a busted-up van on I-20. I can trust Him.

The Red Thread: When Life Unravels, Christ Holds Us Together www.JeanWilund.comAnd that’s when I saw the Red Thread.

I was wrapped up in it.

I was wrapped up in the presence, and the power, and the peace of Christ, and I knew I’m right where I’m supposed to be.

Ladies, Colossians 1:17 tells us, Jesus is before all things, and in Him — in Him — all things hold together.

The Red Thread: When Life Unravels, Christ Holds Us Together www.JeanWilund.comYes, life may unravel, but we don’t have to because Christ holds us together.

 “He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together.”
~ Colossians 1:17

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What are you facing today?

Wrap it in the Red Thread of Christ and know that Jesus is with you. He’s holding you. 

Watch & Read: The Red Thread: When Life Unravels, We Don't Have to. Christ Holds Us Together. (www.JeanWilund.com) Colossians 1:17If you enjoyed this, I hope you’ll share it with others who need to feel Christ’s presence today, too.